__ Friday, May 30, 2008 ;

Dear God,

I really do not understand who I am and what exactly I am here on earth for. Life seems so complex and I can hardly fathom the true philosophy of it.

I know not who I am.

I find myself a mystery.

I am frightened even of myself.

God, I believe in You and I see light at the end of the tunnel. But, I feel like I am stuck in the middle and I do not know the way out.

I want to be happy.

Truly happy.

Can I ?

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 11:32 PM ;

__ ;

Been watching too many movies. Oh my goodness... I calculated the amount I've spent on movies during this holidays and got a shock! =X

1. Dance of Dragon
2. Made of Honor
3. Indiana Jones
4. Iron Man
5. Chronicles of Narnia (tomorrow!)

Suppose I spent $7.50 for each movie, it adds up to $37.50 in total! Wah! If I add up the bubble tea, hotdogs, popcorn and nachos that go with each show, I think I'll faint. LOL!

But I really love to watch movies! For that 2 hours in the theatre, I can immerse myself in the show and forget about my own life temporarily. It's really therapeutic eh? Heex...

I'm so touched. Somebody specially woke up at 8am to wish me luck for my results despite sleeping late last night. Thank you mister, even though you got the timing wrong. Haha! Results will be out only at 3pm lah! But, I really appreciate your thoughtful sms! =]

这是爱嗎 ?

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 11:49 AM ;

__ Tuesday, May 27, 2008 ;

I think I want to take a break from everything.

Things have been messy, I feel as though I've lost my purpose in life.

I don't know.

I feel so lost.

Hopefully the retreat will help me look at things from a new perspective.

I need God.

Desperately.

***************************

Pastor Bee: Thank you for going with me. You don't know how much your presence means to me.

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 8:41 PM ;

__ ;

Mother says she's planning to bring us to ShangHai this year end because my grandma wants to visit her hometown. Oh my goodness, I don't want to go! I want to go Genting for ANDY LAU's concert in December de! Ahhh! I will never forgive myself if I miss his concert this year! :( :( :(

Coffee Bean called me! Hope they'll grant me an interview! I want to be a barista! Haha... Imagine me making coffee for you! Woot... =P

Somehow, the dreadful feeling is still lingering in me... I hate it.

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 9:28 AM ;

__ ;

XIAN HUI'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION! :)

Met up with Xian Hui and Karen at Jurong Point!

Even though 26th May is over now, I still want to wish you a very HAPPY 20th Birthday! Haha! Hope you like the Pooh and meet up soon for shopping! GSS! :)

**

Yay, I'm going to watch Narnia this Saturday night with Andrew! Simply can't wait! Hahaha... I totally love the first one few years ago lar. Thanks mister, for booking the tickets for me! Jia you for your exams this Wednesday! :D

2 more weeks, and I can throw my probation plate away! Haha! Time really flies... Can't believe a year has gone by since I sat for the driving test. But I hardly drive nowadays... Wish I have a car :(

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 12:26 AM ;

__ Monday, May 26, 2008 ;

Esther's birthday celebration yesterday! :)

We went to Bugis area for steamboat after cell meeting. Then went off to this dessert shop for desserts! The desserts were really quite nice eh! I think Xian Hui will love it! Haha :D Wyatt and Peter drove us to West Coast park after that.

Really had fun. Shall not write so much, let the photos do the talking! Heh! =P

The birthday girl. Heh!

Last photo of the day....

LOL! I think this looks really scary. Hahaha :P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ESTHER!

Today is XianHui's birthday too! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIRL! See you later at Coffeebean! :D

## Who can I trust, if I can't even trust you? I'm smiling to hide away all the hurts and worries.

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 9:18 AM ;

__ Saturday, May 24, 2008 ;

Grace is tired but happy =]

Went to town to meet Andrew in the evening for dinner. LOL! He wanted to go to the Crystal Jade at Taka but the queue was super long. So we ended up at Centrepoint's Ichiban Boshi. Heex ^_^

He ordered a lot... Here are some of what we ate. Heh!

I must say the sushi there is nicer than those from Sakae. Hahaha :P

Went to Cine after dinner because he had a sudden urge to sing. Long time since I last stepped into K Box man. Hahaha :P

*** OH MAN! Andrew said it is confirmed that ANDY LAU is going to Genting this December for his concert! AHHHHH!

I MUST GO! I DEFINITELY MUST GO!

Imagine seeing him live in person! I can already picture myself fainting already! LOL!

Anyway, thanks mister, for the dinner tonight. I really had fun! =]

.
.
.
.
.
.

Should I call? I'm scared...

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 1:06 AM ;

__ Thursday, May 22, 2008 ;

Been thinking a lot for the past few weeks...

I've always wanted to be a psychologist.

I thought I'll be able to achieve it as long as I work hard in my studies.

But sometimes, things just do not work out the way you want them to.

I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crossroad now.

I've chosen to major in Social Work but, I don't know whether that's the right choice for me.

I don't even think I'm suitable to be a social worker.

I'm never a people person.

I can't socialize or talk to people so freely.

And I'm too emotional for my own good.

I feel sad even when I listen to classical music.

I think I'll be more depressed than my clients after listening to their stories.

How am I going to do well in a career like that?

I feel the fear already.

Should I continue with Social Work or should I just switch to a safer major like Economics?

I am so lost.

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 10:33 AM ;

__ Tuesday, May 20, 2008 ;

Everytime I go to church, I am reminded of someone from my previous church who has been a very special friend to me. I don't know.... It's so saddening...
Lorna, I'm starting to face the reality that I'll never get to meet you ever again. I miss those times we spent together :( :(

Anyways,

CHURCH FAMILY DAY AT THE ZOO YESTERDAY!

I reached Bukit Batok MRT at 7am when we were supposed to be meeting at 7.40am. Duh! I really cannot gauge the time man. I'm forever so kiasu. LOL!

Anyway, reached the zoo earlier than the rest of the church to help pack the goodie bags. Helped to give out the goodie bags too.

Me and Georgia

My dream! One day I will go Africa!

I don't know what I am doing... LOL

This photo is very random. Heh!

In loving memory of Ah Meng :)

Ah Meng again :D

Can you spot KAREN? Hahaha :P

We won the lucky draw! :)

Tiring day yesterday with all the walking and heat from the sun. =)

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 8:53 AM ;

__ Sunday, May 18, 2008 ;

Went to the airport today after service in church! :)

BYE BYE WENXIU! See you on 2nd June! :D

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 7:36 PM ;

__ Saturday, May 17, 2008 ;

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR BEE! ^_^

This photo is so crazy lar! I think we look like 2 clowns. LOL!

Dinner yesterday with Karen, Esther and Pastor Jadene. We ate at Streets in Raffles City. Wasn't feeling too well because of my super bad flu.

Couldn't sleep yesterday night despite feeling very tired and sick. Thought about many things...

I don't want to get hurt again. Once bitten, twice shy? I've been bitten so many times, why do I keep putting myself at risk of getting hurt all the time?

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 9:07 AM ;

__ Friday, May 16, 2008 ;

One day,

when I've saved enough money,

I will leave.

To a faraway land,

away from all the bad memories here.

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 10:01 AM ;

__ Thursday, May 15, 2008 ;

I seriously need to sort out my raging emotions before things go way out of control. Been in a very, very bad mood lately and every little thing seems to irritate me.

I've been feeling so guilty towards a particular person. She has been there for me for the past few months, never giving up on me. And yet, I'm always venting my anger and frustrations on her. She is always tolerating my unreasonable words and behaviour.
To this person, if you happened to read this entry, do know that I'm terribly sorry. Give me a week to settle my mood and I promise you, I'll be back, all ready to grow under your guidance. I will not waste all the time and effort that you've spent on me. Please take care and rest well. Be keeping you in prayer. Happy Birthday in advance!

*** Going to send Wenxiu off on Sunday with Karen. I hope I don't end up crying because it'll be really silly since she's only going to be away for 2 weeks plus. LOL!

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 8:23 PM ;

__ Wednesday, May 14, 2008 ;

Went shopping at Jurong Point with my sister in the afternoon. And I bumped into Pastor Bee, again! It's always Jurong Point! Haha :P

I wanted to buy a pair of pants from Espirit leh, but the price made me change my mind. Wanted the checkered shirt from FOX, but didn't like it after trying on. In the end, I didn't buy anything. SIAN.

Met up with WenXiu after that and went to Acer with her. Waited so long at the service centre man! I finished watching 3 shows from TV mobile during the wait. Slowpoke =X

Had dinner with Karen and BoonJin at night. Long time since I met BoonJin! Haha! Nice day out today, after being cooped at home for the last 2 days. Argh.

Going Orchard tomorrow!

Shopping list:

- Shoes! I desperately need new shoes! :P
- New clothes!
- Big enough birthday card for 10 people to write on. LOL!
- Pencil Box
- Birthday presents for people

Bank account is seriously depleting! :(

WenXiu is flying to China this Sunday afternoon! Argh... I will really miss you man when you leave. Don't forget me when you're buying souvenirs! HAHAHA! :P

Have a safe trip hor! Hopefully Karen and I can send you off this Sunday :D :D

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 10:50 PM ;

__ ;

Grace is super heart-broken.

News have been reporting daily about Andy Lau and that particular "Zhu-surnamed woman" from Malaysia. Photographs of their twin children have even surfaced.

Hmph!

Evidences are so strong.

I think it's really an open secret that that my *ahem* dream husband is married. LOL!

SIAN to the max! =X

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 9:41 AM ;

__ Tuesday, May 13, 2008 ;

Yesterday - The Beatles

Yesterday,
all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

I had a hard time coming to where I am now. I don't want to go back to the past and relive all the hurts again. After 4 years, I guess I should face the fact that you're never coming back to me again.

Think I better stop listening to oldies. They're making me so emo all over again. =X

## I miss Lorna... Where art thou? :( :(

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 2:12 PM ;

__ Monday, May 12, 2008 ;

Yesterday was truly amazing! :)

Went to church in the morning for service. Had lunch at the usual place before Esther, Georgia, Karen and I went to Tiong Bahru Plaza to walk around. Heex...

Peter came shortly after and drove us to the Indoor Stadium for the Global Day of Prayer thing. My first time there and it was truly powerful. I could really feel the presence of God and it feels really good to see so many Christians united as one to pray for Singapore and the other Nations.

While waiting to go in. Nice sunset :)

The "Green" tickets. Guaranteed us our seats.

Long, long queue...

Why do I look shorter... Aww...

Esther's friend, Anna :)

I still look shorter. Hmph! LOL!

## The event was really an eye-opener man! I will definitely go to the next year's one. 31st May 2009! :)

This is so cute right? Haha... We took the photo secretly because photography is prohibited in the shop. Shhh...

**I've finished CJ7, Ah Long Pte Ltd, and going to watch Kungfu Dunk now. Hahaha! Watching movies for free is really great! :):)

Enjoy ~~

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 10:42 AM ;