__ Saturday, January 26, 2008 ;

It's been quite a while since I last blogged.

Was very busy throughout the week:

Lectures
Readings
Tuition
Tutorial registration

Tuition is already taking up 5 days every week. Not that I'm complaining, I'm more than happy to have the chance to earn more money. Heex... Anyway, I kind of like this hectic life that I'm currently having. At least I won't have time to dwell into unhappy matters. Things will get even more busy when tutorials start next week. Have to brace myself for few months of mugging again. Heh.

I've thought about it long and hard enough to be quite confident to announce that I'm switching to become a Social Work major. I say quite confident because I know how fickle-minded I am and how easily I can be influenced by people. Maybe I will change my mind again. Heh...

Going to sleep now. Finally the weekend is here.

You still mean the world to me after all this while.

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 2:13 AM ;

__ Saturday, January 19, 2008 ;

Food, food and more food again!! :)

This soft shell crab pasta is quite nice. I still prefer the crabs from Sushi Tei though. Heex...

Some grilled chicken pasta... :)

Karen came to NUS the other day to crash my lecture and eat! Heex... We ate the yong tau foo laksa at Arts canteen! As delicious as ever! Yummy! I miss it so much during the holidays lar... Heh... We went up to the cafe with HuiMin after walking around for a while and ate again... I'm such a pig lar. My gosh...

My first time trying the Iced Mocha with ice cream. It was heavenly! Especially after the ice cream has melted in the coffee. Super nice can!

Karen and her wafer. Haha... It was so hard that it tasted like biscuit. =X

##

Went talking to Kin Cheong over coffee yesterday after the Mental Health and Illness lecture at the canteen. Wow... The iced lemon tea over there was nice too! How come I didn't notice all the wonderful food in the canteen last semester? LOL...

##

Going out to pig again now. Ciaoz. ;)

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 4:39 PM ;

__ Friday, January 18, 2008 ;

I have a dream....

To have my own office in one of the high rise buildings in town,

overlooking the sea,

with patients paying big bucks to see me.

How cool and glamourous is that?

I thought I was one step nearer to achieving my dream ever since I entered NUS to major in Psychology.

But today, I realised how far-fetched my dream is.

Between Psychology and Social Work, I'm at a loss of what to major now.

I love Social Work a lot. I dread Psychology.

I did well for Social work. I screwed up Psychology.

I know where my interests lie.

But somehow I feel unwilling to give up my dream.

I don't know what to do.

Is it really worth it to slog and suffer for the rest of my uni life for a dream that may not even come true?

Sigh.

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 3:31 PM ;

__ Wednesday, January 16, 2008 ;

Woots.

It's already mid-January and I realised I haven't come up with my 2008 resolutions. Not that I'm confident I'll achieve all anyway. LOL!

1. Attend all lectures and tutorials faithfully. :P

2. Save more money. I want to go Hong Kong!

3. Lose weight. Argh! It's so hard to lose weight in Singapore, with all the amazing food around. Heh...

4. Study hard and maintain my CAP.

5. Finish reading at least half of the Bible.

6. Apply for exchange programme. HONG KONG/ TAIWAN :):)

And lastly....

We will meet one day =)

I want to join Andy World Club! But I've got no credit card to pay the membership fees. :(

Got to go to school now. Psychology lecture later from 4-6pm. What horrible timing! =X

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 12:15 PM ;

__ Monday, January 14, 2008 ;

School has started!

Today has started and ended off well. Heex... New Media lecture was fun and interesting! Malay was alright. :)

As for the bidding of modules, I didn't get my desired Biological Psychology module. Sigh! The winning bid was way too high. Can you even imagine it? 1000++ points?! And I only had 800+ points in my account.

In the end, I settled for a Social Work module - Mental Health and Illness (SW3217). Sounds interesting too! It cost me 700+ points! Which means I only have less than 100 points in my account now. How am I going to compete with the others for Psyche modules next sem?! Oh man... Anyway, I hope this module will not be too tough. Thank goodness Kin Cheong is taking it too. And, there'll be a field trip to IMH! Sounds really exciting eh? Somehow I'm more excited about Social Work than Psychology. I already feel dreadful even before the Psychology statistics lecture has started. LOL =D

I'll be having a 5-day week again thanks to the Malay tutorial which is only held on Thursday, my initial free day :( Haiz... Worst still, I'll be going all the way to school for that 1 hour tutorial only. SIANN...

So the cycle of going to school, printing notes, hunting and photocopying books, rushing through readings, chiong-ing term papers has started. Time to feel breathless again. But even before I embark on this new semester, I can feel an awesome peace reigning in me. It's hard to put such feelings into words. But I can really say that God is working in my life. Just like what the preacher from Mongolia said last Saturday, We have a living God.

:)

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 8:01 PM ;

__ Friday, January 11, 2008 ;

Rarr... I'm so stressed up with the CORS bidding. I want the Psychology module so badly but there're only 2 vacancies left. Been sitting in front of the computer since 9am to moniter the bid points and number of bidders. It's so frustrating and I feel so uncertain. Argh!

Anyway, I'm so thankful I got the other 4 modules that I wanted. Here's my lecture schedule... Yay! 3-day week for the time being. Heex...

Monday

10am - 12noon NM1101E : New Media and Society
12noon - 2pm SSA2206 : Islam and Contemporary Malay Society

Tuesday

10am - 12noon SW2104 : Human Development over the Lifespan

Wednesday

4pm - 6pm PL2131 : Research and Statistical Method I

Hopefully I'll get the Biological Psychology Module which is on Tuesday 12noon - 2pm. Oh man!

Just as I was fretting about my pocket money, 2 more tuition offers came to me. The timing is really right! What can I say other than THANK GOD? The offers came exactly after I prayed to God! :):)

School is really starting. Been spending my time watching 康熙来了 and 案發現場躲貓貓 on Youtube. My favourite 2 variety shows! They're really entertaining. Heex...

Alright, gotta go check on the bidding again. Argh!

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 11:49 AM ;

__ Monday, January 07, 2008 ;

Out with Karen yesterday.

Accompanied her to OUB centre at Raffles Place for her job interview. Saw so many professionals walking in and out of the Bank that that she's trying out for. I wonder how it'd be like when I graduate from school and step out into the working arena. It sounds so scary. =X

Anyway, after her interview, we went to this shop called Soup Central at the CBD area. Their soup is expensive man! $6.70 for a bowl. And it wasn't even fantastic in the first place. Went to Tampines after that. Ate Cafe Cartel again. Heh... I'm so addicted to their peach Iced Tea man. So sweet and tasty! :P

##

Sunday

Saw Ah Du at Jurong Point! He's handsome in real life and he can sing very well leh! Haha... Most of his fans come from China and Malaysia. Anyway, had a good view of him throughout the session. Heh... Wished it was Andy Lau that I saw. Sigh! :P

School's starting next week. And I've not even bidded for any of my modules yet. Oh gosh! Hope the competition won't be so tough tomorrow when I bid for my core modules. I'm starting to feel the stress already. =X

Saw this song lyrics from someone's blog. Nice and inspirational!

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

With all the reports of the sudden death of MC King, I can't help but wonder how it'd be like when I die. Will anyone turn up at my funeral? Will people have good things to say of me at the wake? Sigh!

After so long, you still make my heart flutter whenever I see you. Why do you have such a huge impact in my life... Sigh...

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 8:35 AM ;

__ Saturday, January 05, 2008 ;

I've mentioned before that I'm someone who often lives in her own fantasy world and whenever I have some time to spare, I'll be day-dreaming. Becoming rich, being the top scorer in school, getting the things I want etc.... Well, since I'm super free now, let me just indulge myself in dreaming about the impossible. Heh.

.
.
.
.

Andy Lau.

How can anyone not love him?

He's successful in his career and he has such a healthy lifestyle. Unlike other celebrities who often appear drunk in the tabloids, he avoids clubs and drinking, spending his time on bowling instead.

And, he has said before that he doesn't like girls who go clubbing.

If one day I get to meet him, I think I'll faint. Wahahah... He's so shuai, I can't even imagine how it'd be like to see him in person.

Sigh... Whoever gets to marry him must be some super lucky girl.

I want to fly to Hong Kong now! I don't even mind if Andy wants me to stay in Hong Kong for good. No matter even if I'm totally lost in the world of Cantonese. LOL!

Okay, I think I better stop dreaming about such ridiculous fantasy. Heh... I must have sounded like some crazy fan. Haha...

Anyway, look at the picture below! OH MAN! That guy really looks like Andy. Was so amused when I saw it on some videos on youtube. LOL!

##

On a darker tone, I heard the news of the sudden death of this comedian called MC King. Though I don't really remember clearly his shows, I recognise him as a funny man on TV.

.
..
...

Life is really unpredictable. As I read the newspapers on the reports of his death, I can't help but wonder when it'll be my turn.

Will I be able to live till old age?

Will I live to graduate from uni?

Will I even live to see the sun tomorrow?

It's so scary to not know when you're going to die.

I've got so many dreams and aspirations yet achieved. I don't think I want to leave yet.

Worst still, what if it was someone I know who left?

I don't dare to even think of that scenario.

Sigh.

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 9:41 PM ;

__ Friday, January 04, 2008 ;

Dearest 2007,

it has been a year full of new and fun activities. Freshly out of college, I had the chance to experience what working life is. And I had the opportunity to enter NUS, to experience what the life of an undergraduate is.

From Jan - April, I had the opportunity to work at Lakeside BASC. I must say that working there certainly has helped me in cultivating my patience. Especially with behavioural problem kids as well as those who come from under-previleged families.

I really miss the pair of Thai twins! My favourite kids in the centre! Aww...

My last day at work.

On the 26th of May, Karen and I celebrated XianHui's birthday at the Chocolate Buffet at some hotel. Can't remember... Heh. It was a cool experience but the chocolate wasn't really as nice as I expected. But the company of friends is great! :)

XianHui, where do you intend to celebrate your birthday this year? Heex...

Come July, I worked at Sheng Siong Supermarket for 7 days. Though short, the experience was really tremendous and the friends I met are great! Being a cashier there, I learnt a lot about the Malaysian people's way of living. I learnt that some customers are really disgusting. I learnt that being a cashier is not as simple as what I used to perceive.

And most importantly, I got to make friends with 阿宝, my supervisor. I enjoy all the late nights out at S-11 having supper with her. I enjoy all the long walks with her while she accompanied me back to my block. I enjoy listening to her talk about her life back in Malaysia. :):)

P/S: 阿宝, congrats on joining the myopic club. Hahahahah... Don't worry lar... Your new specs are cool! :P

In August, the busy and confusing month because of the admission to NUS. Thank goodness I had HuiMin to accompany me throughout all the talks and open house. And girl, I really had fun at the flag day though I can still remember my super tired legs. Heex...

Entering university is like a dream come true. All my life, I've been slogging during exams to reach this goal. Now I've achieved my goal and really am a undergraduate! Heh.... School has not been smooth-sailing though. But I truly enjoyed what I'm studying and I've gained a lot of insights from all the readings and seminars. I've made new friends too but it's a pity that I realised I didn't have any photos of them at all. Sigh!

I remember Malay Studies. YingFen came to sit beside me during lecture and somehow, we decided to sit together for the rest of the term. Haha... Then there was Kin Cheong and Yong Min, whom I met when we were grouped together to do the project. Malay Studies was really fun and interesting because of the food and performances that we get to see. Heex... :)

Then, there was Psychology. I got to know Kitty during tutorial. She's majoring in Social Work and this is her 3rd year in NUS.

Social Work. Always my favourite module because of the content and the friends I had. Meeting Nithya was the best thing that could ever happen in lectures. If not for her, I'd be a lonely anti-social sitting in the lecture all alone. Haha... I remember our fruit juices and not forgetting the tutorials with PearlNing, Simin and Crystal. :)

English. I dread it the most. But thank God for HuiMin because I'd have died in the module if not for her presence in tutorials and lectures.

Last but not least, the South Asian module I had with WenXiu is fun! I remember all our racist jokes and black humour. Really black. Oops... =p

Xiao Zhu's concert with WenXiu on the 1st of December 2007. Who would have known that my first time watching concert would be Show's one and not my beloved Andy's. LOL. Anyway, the concert is nice though shortie-me was blocked by that idiotic beanpole infront who kept standing up.

May 2008 be a year full of fun and love! I hope next year when I look back, I'll be filled with nostalgic and not regrets. :):)

Bye bye 2007!

With much love,

Grace.

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 2:18 PM ;

__ Tuesday, January 01, 2008 ;

Have you ever experienced this sense of extreme hopelessness?
Like nothing in this world is going to work out right.
Just when you thought things were doing fine, something bad has to happen.

I thought I was the happiest person on earth.
I thought things were improving and my heart was getting lighter.
I thought 2008 will be a new start and a fresh beginning for me.

I guess I was wrong.
The demons from the past continue to hold me captive.
The hurts and wounds remind me that the past is real and indeed, very much alive.

Suddenly, everything seems to go wrong.
Whatever good that I had seemed to turn bad.
It's as if all the colours in my life have been splashed with thick, black paint.

I don't know where I am heading.
I am scared.
The road seems long, and dark.

And, I'm tired.

made another new promise ][-
and broke it again at 2:08 PM ;