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__ Tuesday, January 31, 2006 ;

To a friend who means so very much,

I'm sorry for everything that I have done. I never meant to hurt you. I know you will never forgive me and I won't blame you for that. Afterall, it's all my fault. I will never forget those happy moments that we spent together. You have really made me happy and for the first time, I was able to smile from the bottom of my heart. I'm really grateful for all that you've done but, I seriously am not ready for it. Between you and that person, you know what my decision would be. I'm sorry, I can't let go of the past. Perhaps it would be better for both of us now that things have turned out this way. I'm going to miss you a lot when you leave Singapore later this year. No matter what happens, do know that I'm really glad to have met you. You have made me feel the love and happiness that I once was lacking of. Cyn, you will always be that special friend in my life. I will never forget you. All the best to you. May you find your true happiness one day!

made another new promise ][-
 and broke it again at 2:09 PM ;

 

__ Friday, January 27, 2006 ;

Chinese New Year celebrations in school. duh... Nothing exciting about the concert except for the Modern Dance part. Went back to JSS with Xh after the concert. Chatted with Mrs Tong in the HOD room for a while. Hm... it seems a bit empty without Mrs Soh...hahas... Miss her a lot man! Anyway, it's great to see my secondary school teachers again. I miss them all! Haish...

You came into my mind again just now during the visit to JSS. I remembered all the things that I've done with you. Remember how we used to talk in your room during recess and after school? Remember the days when you'd teach me Maths? Remember early in the morning when I'd wait for you at the school gate? I bet you would have forgotten them all. Haish... I miss you so much. Really...

Anyway, I have a lot of homework to complete this long weekend. Sian diao. And there's Physics Test to do too... Wah lao... Can't the teachers let us celebrate Chinese New Year with a peaceful mind? Argh! Hm... Here's my list of assignments to do...
1. Maths Tutorial 20
2. Maths Assignment 20
3. GP skills pack
4. GP news article
5. Physics tutorial (SHM)
6. Integration notes
7. Study for Physics test
8. Econs tutorial (Monetary policy)
9. Econs tutorial (Banking system)

Enough of my rantings, gotta go do homework le. Don't think I'll be blogging again for the next few days. So here's wishing you people a Happy Lunar New Year! =) May God bless you guys always!

God expects us to draw strength from Him.
From Him comes peace and comfort.
God is love,
and He'll never abandon us.

made another new promise ][-
 and broke it again at 1:04 PM ;

 

__ Wednesday, January 25, 2006 ;

Skipped school today. Went to Bukit Panjang to spend my morning. Thought about a lot of things that happened in the past. I think it's time to let you go. After 4 years, I'm really very tired le. The bible says that love is not self-seeking. I know I have failed in that sense. haish... Yes, I still love you a lot and I believe that you'll always be the one who holds that special place in my heart. But, I will not let my feelings for you to rule my mind anymore. From today onwards, I will let God rule my life and I'm sure He'll take me to greater heights and I'll experience even more meaningful events. I thank God for enlightening me and I hope His name will be glorified!

Amidst the darkest hours
and with a deep cry,
many turn to God to end their lives.
Instead, He gives them a reason to live,
a reason for now,
a reason for tomorrow,
and a reason for life hereafter.

Seek God and you'll find a reason to live!

made another new promise ][-
 and broke it again at 6:46 PM ;

 

__ Tuesday, January 24, 2006 ;

If it's all Satan's doings, then I have to say that he has won. I no longer have the strength and energy to fight against him. I'm really very tired.... I wish I could just sleep and not wake up anymore...

made another new promise ][-
 and broke it again at 3:07 PM ;

 

__ Sunday, January 22, 2006 ;

Everything seems to be meaningless ever since you left. It hurts so much... No amount of physical pain can compare with the emotional pain I'm feeling now. Past memories are coming back to haunt me. It's wrong and sinful but, I love you. And that is not going to change in the future. You'll always have a special place in my heart. Forever...

Without you, I can live no more.

made another new promise ][-
 and broke it again at 7:50 AM ;

 

__ Thursday, January 19, 2006 ;

Went Suntec and Marina with XianHui just now. Had great fun.

Grace is very stressed now.

Econs Test
Maths Test
Homework
PE

Argh! When will all these ever end?

I want to go clubbing too :(

made another new promise ][-
 and broke it again at 8:30 PM ;

 

__ Tuesday, January 17, 2006 ;

I aspire to be a psychologist. In 10 years time, I will have my own office at one of Singapore's tallest buildings. I will charge my consultation fees according to my clients' monthly income. Those from the lower income group will have their fees halved. Apart from my job, I will volunteer my service at welfare homes as well as in church. I pledge to go for a mission trip at least once a year too.

Will all these become a reality? Or are they destined to be only part of my dreams?

My future lies in my hands. I'll have to work extra hard to fulfil them. I have set my own target for A level examinations. Seems impossible, but I'll still work hard towards it.
Maths - A
Physics - A
Econs - B
GP - B3
I'm serious. I really want to do well. For God, for myself, and for you.

I love you. I seriously do.

made another new promise ][-
 and broke it again at 4:53 PM ;

 

__ Wednesday, January 11, 2006 ;

Went for TackleBox service last Sunday lo. That was the one and only time I enjoyed TTB and that's because of the speaker... hehe... =) Hm.. Went for PCM after that at ACJC. Talked about our spiritual goals. My spiritual goals for this year is:
1. Go on a mission trip
2. Read the bible daily
3. Be more enthusiastic about going church
God is good! He has let me feel His presence each time I feel depressed. I prayed and asked God to take charge of my life one night and true enough things got better the next day. I've learnt to depend on God in everything I do. If He brings you to it, He'll definitely bring you through it.

Went to Bugis with Karen also after PCM. Walked for so long in the end didn't buy anything. Waste time man...Hahas... Then returned to Jurong Point to shop around. Karen is eyeing on a $100+ jacket from Espirit man. Rich girl... =P

Hm...Been very busy with homework man. So many tutorials and assignments to complete. Argh! I'm so stressed. And there's Maths Complex No. Test next week. How am I going to sit for the test when I know nothing about Complex No? Haish... And Econs is driving me to the wall. I have no idea what Mr Seah was talking about for all the tutorials. What MRP? And what MPP? Sounds alien to me... dots... Serve me right for skipping lectures last year. -_-" How am I going to sit for A level examinations this year end man? Argh!

Going Orchard with Karen tomorrow! I desperately need more clothes for church man. Have been wearing the same few clothes every week. So pathetic lor... Anyway, got to do homework le. Seriously dread the thought of homework. Haish... What to do? That's the job of a student -.- Whatever lahz... Shall blog again next time. Till then!

He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake - Psalms 23:3

made another new promise ][-
 and broke it again at 2:31 PM ;

 

__ Friday, January 06, 2006 ;

I tried to cast you out of my mind, but I ended up thinking of you even more. You mean so much to me... No one will ever understand. I miss you so very much :(

made another new promise ][-
 and broke it again at 5:07 PM ;

 

__ Wednesday, January 04, 2006 ;

This year is supposed to be a great year for me. I got what I wanted, and things seem to be improving. Yet, I feel so sad inside me. I seriously have no idea why... I'm going to break down soon if this carries on. I feel the urge to ___ again. Argh!!

Dear God, please embrace me in Your loving arms and draw me closer to You. I trust that You will make things turn out well for me. Amen!

"Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall make your paths straight." - Proverbs 2:4-5

made another new promise ][-
 and broke it again at 1:56 PM ;

 

__ Tuesday, January 03, 2006 ;

Just put up the counter thingy where you can see the number of people who visits your blog. Kewl! hee hees... =D I wanna hit 1000 hits!

First day of school. Nothing much happened lahz. Went to a new class, S31. They're all very friendly... Hope to blend in more with them as time goes by. Had Econs tutorial first thing in the morning. Mr Seah was my Econs tutor. Finally, I don't have to see you-know-who for Econs tutorials le! So happy...hahas... Had Maths tutorial too. Ms Yew was nice and interesting. Then Physics lecture... Stoned for the whole one hour -_-"... Very sleepy man! Didn't do much for civics too... And finally last period, Physics tutorial. Seriously am so tired that I yawned for don't know how many times... On the overall, today was a fine day. Thank God! =D

I have to buck up!

made another new promise ][-
 and broke it again at 7:31 PM ;

 

__ Sunday, January 01, 2006 ;

*Newly added* Photos...Do check it out! =)

God spoke to me through the pastor today during service. The sermon was "Forgetting what lies behind". Let's give 2006 a new start and forget all that has happened in the past.

S - Stop making excuses
T - Take inventory of your life
A - Act in faith
R - Refocus
T - Trust

Do not fear failures; treat them as an education instead. Failures can be your friend or foe. It's up to you to decide. I seriously agree with the statementBut, it's hard... Nevertheless, I hope God will guide me through and let me have the correct attitude to face each day's challenges.

Went for e_God service yesterday too. Had Holy Communion and watched a video of Jesus being cruxified on the cross. Indeed, Jesus is great! He willingly sacrificed Himself so that our sins will be cleansed and we can have eternal life with God.

School is reopening soon. I'm ashamed to say that most of my homework are left untouched. Haish... I gotta be more hardworking man. Do hope I'll enjoy myself in school this year. Hope that I'll be able to forget the past and start a new life as J2.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with you above the storm.
Father you are king over the flood,
I'll be still and know you're God.

made another new promise ][-
 and broke it again at 3:01 PM ;